106 days, 19 hours, 26 minutes and 43 seconds
106 days, 19 hours, 26 minutes and 43 seconds until my wedding.
Holy cow. That’s both a long ways off and right around the corner. Time is funny like that.
Wedding planning is less stressful than I would’ve thought, but that’s probably largely due to the fact that my mom has done the bulk of the heavy lifting. Thanks, mom!
These last couple months of planning, anticipation and wondering about the future have also made me nostalgic. I’ve thought back over the last year or so of my life, and boy, have things changed. Things have changed, are still changing and will keep changing for the foreseeable future. There’s a time when that would have really made me anxious, but surprisingly enough, I’m feeling pretty good about it.
When you think about it, I’ve been in a solid year of constant transition. This time last year, I was preparing to move to Dallas. I moved to start a new position at work that I was completely unqualified for at the time. I left behind all my friends, my church, my house – everything that made me feel comfortable. I started over in a brand new city where I didn’t know anyone.
After a few tense and lonely months, things finally started to feel settled. I was doing well at work, making friends, finding my routine. And then Mike comes along. So just as I was starting to find my equilibrium, all of a sudden I found myself in a new relationship that was moving at warp speed. That’ll throw off your balance a little.
A few months later, I’m engaged, planning a wedding and preparing to move back to the Eastern Time Zone. So yeah, one solid year of nothing but transition. It has been hard. Really hard at times. There have been a lot of frustrations and a lot of tears.
But now that I’m standing here looking back, I’ve realized something. Somewhere in the midst of the changes, of the turmoil, of the uncertainty… I found freedom. Freedom from feeling like I had to know how everything was going to turn out. Freedom from a desperate need to control everything and everyone around me. Freedom from making decisions based on what other people think.
I can’t really pinpoint exactly when or how it happened. But I know that I am thankful for it. Because, let’s face it, this season of transition is nowhere close to being over!
