Take a Deep Breath and Relax

It’s pretty easy to get frustrated in your 20’s because you don’t know what you’re doing with your life, or feel like you’re not doing anything at all. I’ve seen it over and over in myself and in the folks around me. But it’s kinda ridiculous when you think about it.

The average American  life span is 77.5-80 years, according to Wikipedia. So if we have 80 years on this earth, let’s disregard the first 20 as childhood say that our adult life will be about 60 years. That would put the halfway point of our adult life around age 50.

Now in that light, what exactly do we expect to have to show for ourselves in our 20’s? I’m 27 and I’m just barely an adult. Now I’m not saying that God can’t use young people (He can) or that we just have to get through this period because the only thing that matters is what happens later. I’m simply saying that for those of us in our 20’s who look at our lives and panic because we don’t know what we’re doing or don’t have anything to show for ourselves can take a deep breath and relax a little.

I’ve never milked a cow.

Not that I’ve ever wanted to, or feel like my life is somehow incomplete because I haven’t. I was stuck for a title , and I looked up and saw Kristen Bell milking a cow on an old episode of Veronica Mars.

I just got back from working out again. I’ve been working out pretty regularly for about 2 weeks now, and I’ve hated pretty much every minute of it. Today, however, I did feel a slight bit of satisfaction when I was walking home because I beat my personal record for distance run on the elliptical machine by almost half a mile, so that was pretty cool. I also found a slight bit of satisfaction in being able to say I’ve doing it consistently for 2 weeks. I am also finding satisfaction in the fact that I’m fitting back into clothes I haven’t been able to wear in a while. So maybe it’s not all bad!

I’ve also been trying to eat healthier, but that’s an even tougher battle than the working out. I have cut WAY back on the amount of fast food I eat, though, so that’s a good 1st step!

I had my 1st concert last night with the Tallahassee Community Chorus. It was so much fun! Mr. Roger’s widow was there. She is so cute! She sang along with us when we sang Won’t You Be My Neighbor. We also sang more legit music, such as Rutter’s Mass of the Children, which was absoultely beautiful! Our next concert is Haydn’s The Creation in April. I’m pretty exited about it!

And that’s the end of my random thoughts for tonight!

Timing Is Everything, Part 2

In my last post, I took a look at the younger in son in the prodigal son story, or Bill as we now know him. I made an observation that if he hadn’t been in such a hurry to run off and live his life, things might have turned out differently.

I find myself struggling with Bill-like tendencies a lot. I know there are certain things I want to do with my life and feel that I am called to do with my life. And yet I sit at a desk in a cubicle every day. I don’t hate my job; I actually enjoy it at times. But I know it’s not ultimately what I was created to do.

I am constantly fighting the temptation to rush out and try to make my life “happen.” I want to demand my inheritance now, to go out and do all the things I was created to do. And maybe God would let me do it. The beauty of free will is that God allows us to make our own decisions. The sobering part is that God allows us to step outside of his will and make bad decisions. But if I just ran off and tried to do my own thing, it would probably end in disaster, or at the very least, it would be less spectacular than if I had done it God’s way.

I don’t want to get ahead of God. That’s a funny thing to say, as if I am at all capable of outrunning God and have to sit around and wait for him to catch up. I guess what I mean is that I am committed to his timing, even though it rarely lines up with my own. I am committed to the season I am in, even the parts I don’t like, because I know that God us using these things to develop character and maturity in me. Whatever I end up doing with my life, the things I am developing at this time are going to be absolutely essential.

Even in my own short adult life, I have seen this principle at work over and over again. Things that I was doing that seemed insignificant at the time actually provided me with tools I needed to do something bigger for the Kingdom at a later date. God’s not in the business or wasting time, either his or ours, so you can bet that even the things that seem insignficant to you are most definitely not insignificant to him.

I will endure the process God is taking me through, even when it’s difficult or boring. My goal is to endure it gladly and use these time to burrow even deeper into God. I want to live a life that inspires others to know Christ. I do not want to live a life that becomes a cautionary tale on what can happen if you take things into your own hands.

Timing Is Everything

Pastor Ron preached this past Sunday on the 3 parables in Luke 15. (Or maybe it was the week before. They’re all kinda running together these days.) I guess I didn’t get much sleep the night before, because I was having a tough time focusing. Actually, in all honesty I was having a tough time keeping my eyes open. My mind was wandering all over the place, and I wasn’t paying a ton of attention to the sermon. (Sorry, Pastor Ron.)

At one point, Pastor Ron was telling the story of the Prodigal Son. You know the one: younger son demands his share of the estate, goes off and makes a bunch of stupid decisions (I assume) and wastes all the money, decides to go back home and see if his dad will let him be like a servant or something, and ultimately gets welcomed home by his dad with a big party. In my unfocused, wandering-mine state, I was struck by a thought which I will now attempt to share with you.

I’m going to name the younger son Bill, because I’m going to quickly tire of typing “the younger son” and also because I don’t think I know anyone named Bill. The first Bill that came to my mind is the one from 24. The second one was that freaky Bill character that Sam played in those videos at my church a while back. Then I thought of that old song called Bill, and that made me thing of the episode of Gilmore Girls where Emily and Richard renew their vows, and then I thought of “Special…like eating the paste special?” which is a quote from the episode, and that, of course, made me think of Shelby. Then I thought that maybe I should pick a new name because, but that rabbit trail might be even longer, and that thought scared me, I’m sticking with Bill.

Anyway…

So Bill decides he wants his inheritance now rather than later. It was his inheritance, so he was going to get it at some point anyway. But in his immaturity, impatience or what-have-you, he decides he wants it now and sets out to make his way in the world.

Here’s the thing: I seriously doubt Bill intended to waste the money. His plan couldn’t have been to lose it all and be left with nothing; in fact, I bet he had some big plans. I bet he had all kinds of ideas for what he wanted to do with his life and that money: businesses to start, investments to make, etc. But obviously that didn’t pan out. He got caught up in the world and the pleasures it had to offer. Bill probably didn’t even realize how quickly he was burning through all that cash. I’m sure that the whole time he was still thinking that he was going to follow through on all his big plans.

Maybe Bill’s problem was timing. Maybe if he had waited until his inheritance came to him at the proper time, he would have been a little older and wiser. He would hopefully have been a bit more sensible about how he was spending his money. Perhaps he would have actually been able to start that business he wanted to start, or make those investments he wanted to make. If he had watied, maybe he would have had the integrity to withstand the worldly temptations that proved to be his downfall.

This post turned out to be crazy long, so I am dividing it up. Part 2 coming soon.

All Is Calm, All Is Bright

Christmas was only a few days ago, so I can still steal a lyric from a Christmas Carol as my blog title, right? I figure as long as my Christmas tree is still up, it’s ok. And I’m looking at the tree as I type, so…

All Is Calm This is a pretty strange feeling for me, honestly. After the chaos otherwise known as the month of December, things have slowed down a lot. I got to go home to my parents’ for a whole week, and it was the most restful week since…well…I can’t even remember a restful week, so it’s been a while. Even though I had to work 2.5 days, it didn’t feel like work. Probably because I spent most of that time sitting in a recliner in my pj’s with my laptop. I love working from home!

But it’s more than just being physically rested. For the first time in a while, my heart feels rested. That’s not to say that my life is stress-free at the moment, because it’s definitely not. But even so, I feel totally at peace. The pessimistic side of me is screaming to enjoy it while I can because it’s bound to go away soon, but I am choosing to ignore that voice. After all, peace is a fruit of the Spirit. It’s not determined by circumstance; it’s determined by God.

One pretty big circumstantial change that definitely plays into the feelings of peace and serenity is that I have stepped down from leading worship at IHOP. At this point, I’m thinking of it as a relatively permanent change, but other folks think I just need a break and will be back at some undetermined point in the future. And they could be right. I have no idea what the future holds, but…

All Is Bright I’m relatively optimistic at this point. I am excited about the 2009 with it’s new experiences, new challenges and new blessings. I’m currently in the midst of evaluating how I did with my 2008 goals and setting new ones for 2009. I can’t believe how fast this year has flown by. And supposedly it only gets faster as you get older, which totally blows my mind. I didn’t accomplish everything I wanted to this year, but I feel like I did pretty well for myself. I am happy with who I am and how I’ve grown in the last year. On the surface, it’s been a relatively uneventful year. Not much has changed externally or circumstantially. But internally things are different. And it’s a good different.

So here’s to a new year! Bring it on!

Work

This post was inspiried both by this message Pastor Ron preached at church a couple weeks ago and by this post by Ross Middleton.

I realize that there are folks out there, particularly my generation and younger, that simply want everything handed to them without working for it. That, however, has never been my problem. My parents instilled a good work ethic in me, and although I struggle with periodic bouts of laziness, I genearlly understand the importance of work. My problem with work is not philsophical, it’s practical, and it’s for this reason:

Genearlly speaking, I don’t love my job.

Not an earth-shattering statement, and one that I think a lot of people tend to agree with. I go to work every day to spend 8 hours in a 6×6 cubicle staring at a computer screen. People call me when they have problems, and I fix their problems (usually). Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my job. I don’t hate it, but I sure don’t love it either. Sometimes it’s boring, but sometimes it’s interesting and challenging. But never is it fulfilling.

There are other things in my life that are fulfilling, namely helping lead the worship team at church, teaching, being a worship leader at IHOP. None of those things pay well, if at all, which has led to my view of work as a necessary evil. It’s what you I to earn money so that you can do what you love in the evenings and weekends.

I have worked for 2 companies and a temp agency since graduating college, and have held several different positions at each. Some of them were worse than others, and what I’m doing currently is actually better than any of the previous ones. I have ranged from hating my job so much that I could barely get out of bed in the morning to generally tolerating and occasionally enjoying it.

What I’ve learned in all this is that how I feel about what I do doesn’t really matter that much. Whether I’m loving my job or hating my job or am somewhere in the middle isn’t relevant. What is relevant to God is whether not I am excellent at whatever it is I’m doing. Am I working towards having a Godly mindset towards work, or am I constantly complaining about how much I hate my job? And if I stopped complaining for a few minutes, would I find the time to be thankful for both the ability and the opportunity to work?

Yeah, I have a long way to go.

I don’t think God wants any of us to spend the rest of our lives working in dead end jobs that we hate. I do think, though, that if you’re in a season like mine, we would probably be wise to ask God what he is teaching us in this season because the chances are pretty good that we’ll need that lesson/skill/character trait/etc. sooner or later.

Just some random thoughts…

Read this

I know a lot of you that read my blog have probably already seen this, but for those who haven’t, my friend Clayton just put up one of the best posts I’ve read so far this election season. I highly reccomend it. Click the link below to read it.

Dear Christians who politicked on Facebook, Twitter and blogs

Celebrating Tuesday! (again)

I recently shared my blog with a new friend, and as we were discussing some of my older posts, I was inspired to go back and read some of the stuff I’d written. It’s always an interesing journey to read old blog posts/journal entries/etc. I love it because it’s such a great reminder of where I was and how far God has brought me. But that is not my point today.

I ran across a post I wrote last April called Celebrating Tuesday, and I was inspired to do it again. I started to say I wanted to make it a weekly thing, but the truth is that I probably won’t follow through, so never mind that! But anyway, here are the things I’m celebrating this beautiful Tuesday morning:

• It is a beautiful Tuesday morning. It’s currently 59 degrees out. I love fall. I love when the weather starts to cool off and the leaves start turning colors. Granted, fall in Tallahassee isn’t always as spectacular as I’d like it to be, but it’s still probably my favorite season.
• I had Starbucks this morning. I’m not a huge coffee drinker. That’s probably mainly because I don’t actually like the taste of coffee. But if you put enough sugar in it, I’m all over it. My beverage of choice this morning was a White Mocha. It’s about 95% sweetness and 5% coffee – just the way I like it! AND they put whipped cream on it. It was GOOD! (It will not be a pretty sight when I crash from this caffiene and sugar buzz I’ve got going right now!)
• Between gas prices going down and the fact that my Neon gets WAY better gas mileage than my Kia did, these days I’m spending around $80/month less on gas.
• Change is in the air, and I’m not just talking about the seasons. I’ve been building a lot of momentum lately, and I think that soon I will start to see the fruit of it. Yes, that’s kind vague, and no, I’m not going to explain it.
• I’ve been talking to my mom a lot lately. I’ve always talked to her a lot, I suppose. I don’t know if she will read this because I’m not sure if she even knows I have a blog. What I do know is that the older I get, the more I value her opinions and her counsel.  In fact, the older I get, the more her opinions and mine tend to line up. I’ve always claimed to be more like my dad, but lately, I find myself turning into my mother! I love you, Mom!

Those are the things I’m celebrating this Tuesday! I’ve found that taking a little time to look at the things, big or small, that you’re thankful for can go a long way towards fighting that persistent pessimism that seems to follow me around. I woke up annoyed and irritable this morning, but am now convinced it’s going to be a great day. Take THAT, negative attitude!